Thanatos

It is 30 degrees of Celsius outside and sun is burning ruthlessly. I am on my bike and reaching to the point where land ends. It is actually a little cliff ahead me but fall would still be deadly, over 20 metres onto solid land and sharp rocks. In that point I always imagine the situation where I can't or won't stop the bike. Maybe my bikes breaks fail and I can't stop until it's too late. Or I'm dareing my self to ride as close to the edge as possible. Cowardice or will to live - call it as you like - beats me from realising my thoughts and I start to slow down.

I feel thirsty, I have been riding for an hour with little water supply and taste in my mouth is metallic.
Also I feel ecstatic - that's because prolonged physical activity causes hypthalamus (and other parts of braind) to produce endorphines and serotonines which make you feel extremely good. That happens because sport is actually masochism - during different forms of sternuous exercise human body is actually suffering intense pain caused by lack of oxygen and destruction of muscle. To compensate that, brain starts to produce substances wich are actually narcotics. So every healthy life style promoting athlete, our Firstlady, every superstar who does sport to be a good example for children - thay all aren't much better than average drug dealer and trust me there's good money in promoting self as an idol for youth. Same substances are created during sex but in littlebit different reasons. And I am stuck to bicycling because I haven't got a girlfriend.
These things went through my mind in in a second after I had stoped. Sweat flowing from every bore of my body my black T-shirt is soaked with mix of saline solution and my bodywaste. I trink my last water and step ahead.